Saturday, November 20, 2010

this is my church

My dad was an interesting character when it came to religion. It's taken me until several years after his passing that I think I really see who he was when it came to his beliefs. On one hand, my dad was a devout Catholic. But maybe without even realizing it he knew that the Church is a construct of Man, and as such comes with all of Man's flaws. He found a way to truly commune with God, though, and he chose to live his life in a way that allowed him to express that and experience that. For him, he was always most at home and closest to God when he was out in the woods, surrounded by nature.

Lately I've started this quest for personal transformation that I wrote about earlier. I'm trying to live a more "zen" kind of life--decluttering physically, emotionally, spiritually. One of the biggest things that's helped me with that is running. Good lord, I never in my life thought I'd be a runner, but over the past couple weeks I've found myself out on the trails at 9pm, 15F, with a flashlight and half a dozen layers, including a full-face mask. It's just that it's so clean, so purifying, to be out on a run, knowing that my mind is emptying and my body is strong enough to take me miles away from home and then miles back. Feeling the sun on my face or seeing the stars wheeling above while I pad out the miles. I've been doing some reading about running, (saving that for another post) and I'm really seeing what the true hard-core runners feel...I'm exhausted at the end of a run, but totally exhilarated and spiritually refreshed at the same time.

Whether it's just simple endorphins or something deeper, Dad...I see what you mean now.

Location:Greenwood,United States

Sunday, November 14, 2010

transformations and good introduction

A year ago if you had told me what I just did, I would have laughed in your face and called you nuts. As I write this, I'm sitting here on a 40F Sunday morning, looking out at cloudy November skies, and cooling down from a 4.3 mile run.  A run.  Running.  I always saw people out jogging and while maybe I didn't laugh at them, I kind of almost pitied them in a way.  They always looked so miserable, especially on days like today, headbands wrapped around their ears, the rest of their face windburnt and red, layers upon layers of clothes to keep out the winter.  I'd buzz past them in my nice warm car, probably sucking down a large Coke or a vanilla latte or something, and wonder what on earth could possess someone to just go running down the street.  

Somewhere in the back of my mind it may have occurred to me that there was a disconnect in my thought process somewhere, since I considered myself an athlete, playing soccer at least two nights a week in leagues full of people ten years younger than me.  But in all that, I never saw the point of running just for the sake of running.

I'm going to try to get back to blogging...I know it's been a long-assed time since I wrote anything more than a facebook post or twitter update, but there's definitely something to be said for sitting down and putting out a few paragraphs.  I'll try not to bore you, I'll try to find something profound to say at least once in awhile.  You see, I'm undergoing a transformation.  Running is the catalyst, but it goes so much deeper than that.  I'm seeing life in a whole new light these days.